.｡. moris @ cafe .｡..

so many times people telling me about how they feel of me

i usually got the same feedback, some are nice and some are meaning to be pernicious

all these are born of the basis of their fondness
sometimes i find those meaningless feedbacks offend me by those people who don't really know me

i know it just happen, no matter how hard you try, they will just keep the same thought as they wish

so as howard said "maybe they are right but most of the time those people don't even know you, so why got upset? what you need to do molly, is to let go"

sometimes i found living is so difficult by pleasing someone you love but he/she doesn't love you

it just like a kid sitting at the doorway pleasing the adults to give him lolly, even the kid torn off, the adults would still be the same, be cruel to the kid... nobody will really take a look of the kid and ask what he really needs... maybe he doesn't want the lolly-pop but just a cuddle...

so many years gone, i still found myself kinda hard to understand, so does my family

i don't know why i'm just mute before them, i never really express feeling, never talk, never let them know how i feel, im mute

sometimes it ruin my feeling... as kerry said "molly you got to talk, you got to talk to me, it's hurting, both you and i..."

maybe my family feel the same way too...

back into 2002, a year i wasn't in my homeland

this was the 1st time i found people who really love me, my family, old friends and all the families and friends i met in aussie

the 1st time was at the cultural camp with all other students in different races, 2 teachers standed before us, telling me that they got a special prize for me, i was so confuse at time but they just told "molly you worth it,  you are so funny and sweet, we love to see yr smile..." it's simply an expression telling they really like me and wanted me to have a great year...
once was kerry talking to me trueheartedly in living room, openly with howard " molly, we love you, talk to me at anytime if you want, we are just a phone call away, sweetheart..."

once was at oct, i was about to go to tassie having holidays saying good-bye to friends, i suddenly tears with no reason before them, they came and holded me tight, telling me that they all really love me, love seeing me to be happy and my laughter...

it deeply makes me believes my laughter will somehow turn into curing, it will somehow heal myself too, i steady believe in it

2008 was gone and i'm now in 2009, i wish i can have this year happily with lots of blisses, i wish i could be able to communicate better with my family, i wish my family n friends in good health, i wish i can go back to aussie, i wish i can earn better friendship, i wish my dear friends will come back, i wish people will know more about Jesus, i wish peace on earth... i still wish we can dream on, keep dreaming, keep seeking...